THINGS I LOVE

Spending days in beautiful cafés,

Sipping on milkshakes

And a slice of vanilla cake

Chocolate days while i read a good book

Beach days with a warm ish breeze while i journal and sip on colada

Cloudy days dressed in just an oversize tee and no under wear

Laying in the bed all day with blinds open letting in beautiful rays of light

Spa days

Friendship days

Love making days

I love to live

FILL IN THE BLANKS

Hey y’all,

How did your weekend go? I hope you are all doing good and if not, your hanging in there.

My weekend just went by like that, the best thing in it was the Netflix i guess. I am watching this series “Valeria” which has me hooked and full of questions all in one.

But anyway i also have my own personal questions that have been going through my mind;

Like uhmmmm

What is it called when you want to pray and you actually pray but have no words to express exactly what your heart and mind want to tell God? I want to tell God something but I’m speechless and numb, though my heart is really heavy😏, i just hope he gets it and comes through anyway.

What is it called when your sad and angry but are unable to express yourself! Explaining what is wrong and talking about it with the person it concerns so that the problem is addressed and solved. I am unable to say how exactly i feel. Rather i just want to be understood in a few words and let that be it.

What is it called when something feels like its missing! When the days are normal and the nights are okay but something feels off and more is needed and wanted but no idea of exactly what that is? What is it called to not know how to fill the missing pieces ¡

What is it called when the music gets dull and even the best vibes do not give an uplifting vibe? When the messages don’t say it all and writing does not help? When phone calls feel forced and exhausting? When memories feel better than the present? What is it called when you need to let go but you don’t want to?

What is it called to lose touch with self ?

GENDER ROLE AND IDENTITY

So this is crazy but in my sleep, i thought to myself, why is it women that have to sacrifice all the time?

So i woke up and tried to figure out what is triggering this and also maybe blog about it to free my mind.

It was triggered by what I’ve seen growing up but mostly by the articles i read before i slept.

So growing up, my mum teaching my sisters chores and all that household staff, well i was still young so i am telling you about what i watched before my turn came.

Every act was meant to be perfect, and guess why

Because ,

She would say

“What will you do in your husbands home?”

“How will you perform among your in-laws?”

“Who will marry you if you can’t do this , or do that?”

Bla bla bla goes on about trying to base shaping a woman and acquiring skills on a Man’s view of them.

I never thought deeply about it then , but getting to the same stage and learning the same skills followed by the same phrases and tantrums, i was pissed.

I mean i honestly do not mind learning basic life skills like cooking and cleaning and everything that comes along because those are necessary even for me as an individual to survive and on the other hand i can still survive without them.

What is annoying is basing my whole childhood and growth on the impression and view of the man i am yet to meet and how he will perceive me bla bla bla bla!!!

I am even disgusted by the thought of it

African households pass the burden of raising responsible men to girls and women, they start to expect a lot of nonsense and also looking at basic life skills as gender roles.

So what!

If a woman does not cook, you shall not eat?

If she does not clean and all, you will live in a sty?

The girls grow up looking for approval from these creatures that do not even deserve that kind of high table.

The things i believe are ought to be instilled should do a lot with self love and esteem, then the rest comes along.

Women should indulge in these activities because they have the desire to , not because they are looking from approval from these people that were not responsible enough to acquire the necessary skills but have the guts to sit back and wait for someone to come through for them as a role.

A woman goes to work and secure the bag just like the man. Yet when she gets back home she is expected to cook and serve and clean and make way and all that crazy stuff.

Please note:

She had the same kind of day, but she does not get to be tired because she is a woman and so she is to go ahead and do all this staff after working.

I do not agree , it is exploiting and demeaning.

Women do not have to be slaves just because they are raised to be accommodating and pretend to create a perfect picture.

They should be real with themselves.

Acquire help around, embrace luxury, indulge when you desire to because you earned the right.

I hope these men know, a house is not a home without a woman and if she is not happy, cheers to the unhappy life .

We bring a lot on the table and therefore should be valued beyond basic life skills that men have not acquired.

Notice how judgemental the society is when a woman has had various sexual partners or relationships, all over a sudden she becomes unworthy and a slut whatsoever .

Turn the tables and it becomes okay because these male creatures think its okay to do wrong and get away with it because they have a third leg or whatever they think they possess.

A woman gets raped and there is doubt and questions and claims to justify the rape!

“Maybe it was her dress code!”

“Maybe she wanted it!”

Etc

And just like that, the disgusting man gets away with it.

I could go on and on about these injustices from society towards women but it won’t make a mark until the male generation is groomed to be responsible and civilised human beings with character.

We do not leave for your approval, i believe submission is more of a mental state than a physical act and definitely comes naturally.

If it has to be forced or instilled, do you even want it! ?

MANIFESTATION

So lately when I’ve been asked how I’m doing

My answer has always been fair

Even to the question of how is everything, I’d reply “fair”

Now today i saw a post that made me re think my responses😄

Let me attach;

So after seeing this, i was speechless at the thought of what I’ve been doing to myself and considering the fact that i deeply believe in manifestation, fair is not the journey I’m heading for.

I wasn’t happy with myself

Now i feel like I’ve over said fair that i don’t even know how to go back and turn it all around because now am sort of scared😄

But anyway i have no option but to turn to the positive lane.

So i just thought it would be great to let y’all know better than to manifest the wrong staff.

Personally i just want to make big money and have that inner freedom to just be

Uhmmmm maybe a 7bedroom house with 6bathrooms, a gym and a pool, dope ass kitchen and everything else i need and need not at just $50, sounds good right😄

“Thought so too😎”

So i also realised something, you know if you followed my blog from when i started, You know my relationships haven’t been that sexy and I’ve been a broken person that does not even know how i got back to what i am now.

So the point of this is uhmmmmm,

I once had a list of the staff i wanted in a partner, but like i never ever got that shit , lol😄

So i thought to myself, maybe I’m being so damn unrealistic so guess what?

I stopped making a list and also stopped praying for this man because he probably got dropped off at some wrong stop and ended up in the wrong house😂😂😂😂

I’m at peace with that😂

Anyway so i keep meeting weird people, and you know how they say you attract what you are;

i may be weird🤣🤣🤣

Anyway that can’t be

I definitely just need to better myself

So someone asked me what i wanted in a guy and got me thinking😂

I don’t even know what i want anymore to be honest😂 because I’d probably have to create the man myself

Anyway i took time and wrote a list then i realised how lonnngggggg it got by the minute😂, found that a bit scary, i mean how can i be so demanding?

But i also realised, everything i demand, i possess so at least I’m glad i know better what i want and don’t want at the moment so these winds of the universe should stop blowing me to the wrong shores.

Anyway the point of this blog was to talk about manifestation of what you deeply want through your thoughts .

If you read “The Secret”, you know what I’m saying!

Just don’t think about what you don’t want, because the universe cannot tell the difference, it just attracts what is in your mind.

Let that be positive ✌🏽

TELL ME SOMETHING

I asked her

“What comes naturally to you?”

She said

“Loving someone that does not love me back .”

I wanted to go on and on and hear more about the depth of this,

About why someone chooses someone that has not chosen them!

But tears run down her cheeks and i knew it wasn’t a choice

It was not what she wanted, it just happens that we are drawn to things far from our reach and we stray from things in our reach

I like to think that self love makes it all better because when you love yourself enough, rarely will you choose someone that does not see that much value in you.

But its not entirely their fault

Because the heart wants what it wants.

Even the wrong things

HEY

How is everyone doing?

Happy new year🥂🥂🥂

So good to leave 2020 behind, phew😄

I mean it was about time

And though I’m late , i hope you guys had a lovely festive season.

Mine was great, went by smooth and i definitely have no complaint✔

All thanks to God.

I missed my blog so here i am and i missed reading you guy’s posts.

Now that I’m back , i can’t believe I’ve gone that long without reading and writing, explains why i felt like something was missing😄.

Anyway today is going to be a basic day for me, I’m going to have my breakfast, do a few things there and there , i want to journal and make a plan for the week that i consider is starting for me today because yesterday was mostly wasted but i guess everyone needs some of those days😊.

I started a business by the way, i forgot to mention it but then again I’ve been gone.

Anyway here is a little bit about my business, it’s a clothing business. I see value in second hand pieces so i deal in resell of second hand clothing , shoes and bags😊.

I also collect beautiful jewelry pieces and i sell this staff online via Instagram @babygirlthrifts and @babygirl_charmed

I look forward to y’all checking my page out and hopefully find something to like. At the moment this business is my baby and probably will be for the longest time and i am very happy about that. I will be happier when you support me.

I have also been watching a lot of shows on Netflix, they have sure been occupying me that i even forget about all my troubles that don’t even exist at the moment😄.

So i watched;

Bridgerton which i think was quite lovely, the characters are so natural and good actors . The story is original and not cliché, it had me anxious to see what next again and again. Though i feel like the story was rushed, i didn’t think she was going to get the man (duke) and a child all in season one, i also didn’t think we were to discover lady whistledon in season one too, the suspense is sort of dead for me but i am curious to see what they are going to use to capture our attention in season 2.

What did you guys think about that show?

Then i also went on to ;

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

First of all i really love reality shows because everything is actually real and actually happening .

Housewife shows are always so dramatic and crazy most especially when followed with wealth and so much luxury😄, that is good to watch.

So i love Lisa most in this show along with her husband and dog (gigi) they are so natural , adorable and interesting to watch.

I think Kyle scored the jackpot to have a man that loves her loudly and deeply.😊

Then Taylor is just so unnecessarily dramatic and annoying, she is so desperate for attention and the wealthy lifestyle that she doesn’t even know what she needs to be happy.

Kim on the other hand is hmmmmm just lost and weird.

Those are the outstanding characters for me to talk about.

I’ve also just watched;

Bling empire

I must say I’m in awe at how wealthy people out their are, this one is about really wealthy Asians and obviously their luxurious lifestyles.

I can’t stop admiring and imagining myself in that lifestyle😂

Y’all should just watch this show

Anna is my favorite person, she is Gold and that’s it.

Its also a funny show BTW 😎

I could go on and on but i gotta go do something, and now that I’m saying this, I’m realising how much Netflix I’ve watched and how much I’d love to share with you guys .

Anyway I’ll

BRB✌🏽

A GOOD VIEW FROM A VALLEY

Been away so long

I don’t even know what to write anymore

And every time i plan my week

I plan to blog

But then i don’t

I keep pushing it on and on

Telling myself one day i will

When it feels natural

But time goes on

And i still don’t write

I have so many feelings bottled up

Good and Bad

Because lately i haven’t let myself open up

I haven’t let myself vent

Because the whole in my life was filled

With the business i opened in August

So somehow everything feels easier

Much better

Having an escape

The only time i let myself think is

Never

My journal misses me

My blog misses what its like to be updated

But am well

And since i wanted to be well for a very long time

I wanted to be happy for a very long time

And i just couldn’t get myself to be

Now i am okay

I am happy

Let that be enough,😊

I hope to continue with my A-Z challenge someday

I don’t know when

Could be tomorrow or in the next 10years

But i shall do it

✌🏽✌🏽✌🏽✌🏽✌🏽✌🏽❤

HOPE SPRINGS ETERNAL

I want things to go back to normal
So bad
Because i miss you
But i feel like am trying and your not
So i am going to be strong
Lay back
And go through the hard days
Till i miss you less
Love you less
Need you not
Care for you less
And maybe one day
I’ll go through my day
And you won’t even cross my mind
And months shall go by
Hours become years
And I’ll feel so good to realise that
I don’t remember the last time
I thought about you
And I’ll smile because
I won’t be sad anymore
I’ll just silently hope your happy
And drive on happily
And get my kids and husband some ice cream
Feels really good to manifest my deepest desire
Because i see it and feel it
All will be well

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